I’ve suffered with gender dysphoria since puberty. I’ve thought of transitioning multiple times and have been suicidal in the past because of it. My last major episode was a year or two ago. I’m married with children. Transitioning would have destroyed my family and likely my life. At the time, I was in therapy and seriously considering upending my life for this issue. The therapist told me that my only option, if I wanted to be happy, was to change genders according to how I feel.
One day I was agonizing over what choice I should make. I was walking with a co-worker during break time and I looked up at the sky. Suddenly I heard a voice in my head, clear as day. The voice pierced my heart and simply asked the question: “is this what you really want?”. I realized that it wasn’t. From that point on I’ve gained the knowledge that this disorder is a mental illness associated with childhood trauma, and it’s simply my cross to bear. My family needs me as I am. I secretly continue to suffer but I take comfort knowing that God is watching over me and warned me from taking the wrong path.
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